Human
by actuallyitsstarbar
Summary: "Eternity was a lot longer than anyone realized, and time played itself out, again and again, the repetition of history for Jacob as certain as death for everyone else. But everything did not repeat- people certainly didn't. The makeup of a person came only rarely. Sometimes, it only came once." Piece of introspection for Jacob, on Lara & eternity. Not a ship fic.


That was the thing- he hadn't met someone like her for a long while, and he didn't know when he would again.

Eternity was a lot longer than anyone realized, and time played itself out, again and again, the repetition of history for Jacob as certain as death for everyone else. But everything did not repeat- people certainly didn't. To some degree, yes, the same basic archetypes spreading out over millennia... but the details, the makeup of a person, came only rarely. Sometimes, they only came once.

And he had in fact, been around long enough to know that Lara was one of those people.

She was still young, still foolish, still trying to figure out who she was. But she was growing into an unstoppable force, and in the short time since he had met her, he had felt as if he was watching the transformation with his very eyes. Loyal, fierce, brash- so sure that she was right, so convinced of her every move being the best choice. And yet, she had her doubts. She was still following in her father's footprints, but they were beginning to fade, and she was breaking new ground. And sure, they had talked, and of course he had tried to help whenever possible. But he knew that most of it was on her. All he had ever really done was listen.

He remembered being her age, in a time when it really was just... _his age._ He remembered heading off to see what the small world he knew had to offer him, and finding much more than he bargained for. He didn't handle it so well, and if he was being honest, Jacob _then_ could have used someone like Jacob _now._ It may have sounded conceited, but eternity changed a person. If he could somehow allow someone who knew him now- someone like his daughter, or any one of his people, or... or Lara, even. If he could somehow introduce them to himself, but in his original state, he doubted they would recognize him at all. In fact, he was certain that by now, he bore almost no resemblance.

He'd thought about it, too.. countless hours spent considering the idea over the millennia. He was destined to an endless fate, and there wasn't anything he could do about it now. It was inescapable, and he had learned to accept it, perhaps even come to terms with it for the first time in a long time. Of course, he'd thought that before, too, but something always happened to keep the feeling from sticking around.

He liked to think that it wouldn't happen again.

But he'd thought about it. He was doomed to an eternity on earth, yes. But so much could happen in such time. He barely remembered the person he started out to be. It was as if he had lived multiple lives, the different versions of himself he'd been over the years so far. Was that the trade? Would he have as many human beginnings as he could ask for, but never the human ending?

Lara would have a human ending, and she scared him. He knew that he could heal most things, but what if he found something he couldn't? What if he didn't get there in time? What if he never knew? Lara, gone off one day to fight in his cause and gone, never to be seen again, alive or dead. You would think that being able to heal others would be a reassurance, but in reality, it was more of a threat. _What if he couldn't._ The only man certain to be able to save someone, and yet, _sometimes_ he couldn't. What if that happened to Lara?

The prospect was unbearable, and the more he considered it, the more determined he became to keep her safe. Not that she needed much help, and he knew that, but he would simply feel better if he could be given something to do. Perhaps it was silly, but that was human emotion, for you.

And human emotions- he was full of them, God, was he. He was, after all, human.

 _Save for a human ending._


End file.
